»»
Teacher: Bholu! Your essay on "My Dog" is exactly same as your brother's. Did you copy his?
Bholu: No Ma'am! We have only one dog at home..

»»A girl came home after accidentally slipping into a dirty ditch..
Mother: Oh dear! you're pretty dirty!
Girl: I'm even prettier when I'm clean !!

»» In a hotel::
Customer: Why the free sweets? Any special event or function today? A special day?
Waiter: No sir, nothing of that sort. Just annual stock clearance, that's all..

»» Several men are in the changing room of a golf club.
A mobile phone on a bench rings and a man engages the hands free speaker-function and began to talk.
Everyone else in the room stops to listen.

MAN: "Hello"
WOMAN: "Darling, it's me. Are you at the club?"
MAN: "Yes"
WOMAN: "I am at the shopping centre and found this beautiful leather coat. It's only $1,000. Is it OK if I buy it?"
MAN: "Sure,..go ahead if you like it that much."
WOMAN: "I also stopped by the Mercedes dealership and saw the new 2006 models. I saw one I really liked."
MAN: "How much?"
WOMAN: "$70,000"
MAN: "OK, but for that price it should come with all the options."
WOMAN: "Great! Oh, and one more thing ... The house I wanted last year is back on the market. They're asking $950,000"
MAN: "Well, then go ahead and give them an offer of 900,000. They will probably take it. If not, you can go the extra 50 thousand.
It really is a pretty good price."
WOMAN: "OK. I'll see you later! I love you so much!!"
MAN: "Bye! I love you, too."

The man hangs up. The other men in the changing room are staring at him in astonishment, mouths agape.....

He smiles and asks:
"Anyone knows, whom this phone belongs to???"

»»
Student: Would you punish me for some thing I didn't do?
Teacher: No, of course not! Now why would I do such a thing?!
Student: Phew! That's a relief, I didn't do my homework.
»» Stupid people are just everywhere! They just don't seem to grasp the obvious. One fine Sunday morning, me & my friends had gone to watch a movie at central theatre, during our graduation days, and were waiting in the queue to get our tickets, when another batch mate showed up unexpectedly, and asked, "Hey! It's you guys.. So, you're here to watch a movie?"
    So much for him, "No!", I said, "not at all!, we were just bored, had no other work and we are standing and waiting in the queue of the movie theater just for time pass, standing and waiting in queues is our favorite time pass!"
    In another instance, dating even back, high school days perhaps, one of us fell down and got badly bruised during play. A passer by comes and asks, "Child! are you hurt?".
   Our immediate answer was, "No sir! not at all!! Don't worry, he doesn't feel pain, his body produces pain killing chemicals automatically!"

»»
Wife: If I dismiss the cook and make the food myself for a month, what will you pay me?
Husband: I won't have to pay you, you'll get my entire insurance amount.
»»The math teacher, when teaching about odd and even numbers, saw that little Pappu wasn't paying attention in class.
She called on him and said, "Pappu! What are 2, 4, 18 and 24?"
Little Pappu quickly replied, "Cartoon Network, Ten Sports, Discovery Channel and Pogo!"