• Why do Bride & Groom exchange varmaala during wedding ?
To tell each other affectionately... Sweetheart U R Dead !

• Different Phases of a man:
After engagement: Superman
After Marriage: Gentleman
After 10 years: Watchman
After 20 years: Doberman

• There is only one perfect child in the world and every mother has it. There is only one perfect wife in the world and every neighbour has it

• Prospective husband: Do you have a book called 'Man, The Master of Women'?
Salesgirl: The fiction department is on the other side, sir.

• How Dogs and Women are alike?
Neither believe that silence is golden, neither can balance a checkbook, and Both put too much value on kissing

• The world's thinnest book has only one word written in it: Everything
and the book is titled: "What Woman Want!"

• A man who surrenders when he's WRONG, is HONEST.
A man who surrenders when he's NOT SURE, is WISE.
A man who surrenders when he's RIGHT, is a HUSBAND

• Galfriends r like chocolates, taste gud anytime.
Lovers r like PIZZAS, Hot n spicy, eaten frequently.
Husbands r like Dal RICE, eaten when there`s no choice

• Man receives telegram: Wife dead-should be buried or cremated?
Man: Don't take any chances. Burn the body and bury the ash.

• Q: Why dogs don't marry?
A: Because they are already leading a dog's life!

• There was this guy who told his woman that he loved her so much that he would go thruogh hell for her. They got married and now he is going thru hell.

• Ek aadmi apni biwi ka antim sanskar karke ghar ja raha tha. Achanak bijli chamki, badal garje, jor se barish start ho gayi.
Dukhi aadmi: Lagta hai pahunch gayi.

• Jitne channel TV ke, utne nakhre Biwi ke.
TV chalta remote se, Biwi chalti hai note se.

• Fact of life: One woman brings you into this world crying & the other ensures you continue to do so for the rest of your life!

• Husband wife ki godh mein leta hua thaa. Wife: Kaisa lag raha hai ji.
Husband: Aise jaise bhagwaan Vishnu Shesh naag ki godh mein lete hain.

• Q: Why doesn't law permit a man to marry a second woman?
A: Because as per law you cannot be punished twice for the same offence!

• Life is a paradox-what u want u don't get(luv), what u get, u don't njoy(marriage), what u njoy is not permanent(galfriend), what is permanent is boring(wife)

• What men want: A woman who can cook, a woman who earns good money, a woman who loves him & system to make sure that those 3 women never meet each other!

• Lady 2 her maid: Oh Kanta, I have reason to suspect that my husband is having an affair with his secretary."
Kanta : I don't believe it! U r just saying that 2 make me jealous!"

• Life is a book we all read it. Luv is a blessing we all need it. Always be happy, always have a smile coz. Remember in this world we are just for a while!

• A lady is a woman who makes a man behave like a gentleman. Thanks for being such a lady to me

• Love many things, for therein lies the true strength, and whosoever loves much performs much, and can accomplish much, and what is done in love is done well. -Vincent van Gogh

• Love is missing someone whenever you're apart, but somehow feeling warm inside because you're close in heart. -Kay Knudsen

• Sometimes the world gives me so many reasons to hate it but whenever it happens I just stop & think of u n say: How can I hate this world when u r a part of it

• Love is not how long u've been together; not how much u've given or receive; Not how many times u've helped each other – It’s how u value each other

• Tears can sometimes be more special than smiles..... For smiles can be given to any one but tears are only shed for people we love.

• We've known each other,
For a long long time,
But I never really noticed,
All the magic in your eyes,
I've been around you,
A thousand times before,
And you've always been a friend to me,
But now I'm wanting more

• I luv u not only for what u r, but for what I am when I'm with u. I luv u not only for what u have made of urself, but for what u r making of me. I luv u for the part of me that u bring out.

• Tonight I ask the stars above,
How I'll ever win your love,
What do I do,
What do I say,
To turn your angel eyes my way?

• A woman had triplets, she named them Mat, Pat & Tat. She fed Mat from left tit, Pat from her right tit...
Moral of the story: No Tit for Tat

• Nasha aankho me hota hai Sharaab mein nahin, Sharddha Dil me hoti hai Mandir mein nahin..... Dosti SMS karne se badhti hai, SMS padhne se nahi....

• Exams ke 4 din pehle syllabus dekha to yaad aaya,
Kuch To Hua Hai Kuch Ho Gaya Hai,
Exams ke din paper dekh kar yaad aaya,
Sab Kuch Alag Hai Sab Kuch Naya Hai

• Lamha Lamha Waqt Guzar Jayega,
Chand Lamhon Men Exam Sar Pe Ajayega,
Abhi Bhi Waqt Hai Do Line Padh Lo,
Warna Paas Kia Munna Bhai Karwae Ga!

• Teri Maa Di,
Tere Peo Di,
Teri Behan Di,
Tere Bhra Di,
Teri Bhabi Di,
Tere Pure Khandan Di,
Te Meri v Tu Jan Hai

• Mohabbat 1 bar ho jaye us ko bholapan kehtay hain, 2 bar ho jaye us ko dewaanapan kehtay hain, 3 bar hoo jaye us ko pagalpan kehtay hain, agar phir bhi na rukhay to use kameenapan kehtay hai

• Khuda bachaye hamein in haseenon se, naazneenon se, dilnasheenon se, jaaasheenon se... par inhe kaun bachaye hum kameenon se...

• Jab apka SMS ata hai mera rom-rom machal jata hai, sara badan kaamp jata hai, dil main gudgudi si hoti hai. Stupid, yeh apka kasoor nahi, mera phone Vibrator per hota hai

• Judge: U r crossing the limits.
Lawyer: Kaun Saala aisa kehta hai?
Judge: How dare you call me saala?
Lawyer: My Lod, I said kaun 'Sa Law' kehta hai?

• Bhikhari: Saab 1 rupaya de do.
Saheb: Kal aana.
Bhikhari: Saala is kal kal ke chakkar mein is colony mein mere lakhon rupaye fase huye hain..