• An old rich man marries a young gal. Interviewer asks the girl: Apne inmein shaadi ke liye kya dekha?
Girl: Ek to inki income aur doosre inke din kum.

• Food for thought: Why to suffer trying by all means to become rich and wear expensive branded clothes, when best things in life we do naked.

• Bengali patient: Doc sahab, potla-potla totti aata hai, khane ko man nahin karta hai.
Doc: Yeh lo dawai, mota-mota totti aayega, jaise marzi kaat ke khana

• Boy: Tum gaana bahut achcha gaate ho.
Gal: Nahin, mein to sirf bathroom singer hoon.
Boy: To bulaao na kabhi, mehfil jamaate hain.

• Biscuit maker's Luv Letter: Dear Marie yesterday was a very Good Day, our meeting was truely Nice, but the chance of our Luv is 50-50 coz ur dad is a Tiger. Will u give ur Little Heart 2 me? Otherwise I'll become a Krack-Jack

• Angry boss: Tumne kabhi Ullu dekha hai?
Executive (sar jhukate hue): Nahin sir.
Boss: Niche kya dekh rahe ho ? Meri taraf dekho.

• Girls Psychology - Fraud with Innocent Boys; Fun with Handsome Boys; Friendship with Charming Boys; Contacts with Intelligent Boys; Flirt with Freaky Boys; Love with Faithful Boys & in the end Marriage with the Rich Boy

• When I send SMS to u, it doesn't mean that u have to do the same... U can also send fruits, drinks, pizza, chocolates by courier. DD & Cheques r also accepted.

• Q: Agar do pipal ke Pedon ko ek rassi se bandh diya jaye to us rassi ko kya kahenge?
A: Us rassi ko bolengey NOKIA - Connecting pipal.

• Thought of the day: Agar aap bus pe chade... ya phir bus aap pe chade... dono marthaba ticket aapka hi kat tha hai

• Ek yug tha jab log apne ghar ke deewar pe likhte the: ATITHI DEVO BHAVA
Phir likha: SHUBH LABH
Phir likhne lage: U R WELCOME
Aur ab likhte hain: KUTTON SE SAVDHAN

• Ravan was sent to court & was asked to keep a hand on Geeta.
He refused saying: Sita par hath rakh kar itni musibat aayi! Ab Geeta pe haath nahin rakhunga

• Kudi waley Munde nu: Tusi nonveg khandey ho?
Munda: Haan
Sharaab?
Haan
Drugs?
Haan
Jua?
Haan
Sab kuch negative hai, kuch positive ve hai?
Munda: Haanji, HIV+

• Khuda kare tujhe khushiyan hazaar mile, mujhse bhi achche yaar mile, meri galfriend tujhe raakhi baandhe aur tujhe ek aur behan ka pyar mile

• Plz pass this SMS to all ur friends. A person urgently needs 3 bottles of....
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
Foster beer (chilled) with chips. It's urgent Cell no & name is as displayed

• People who do lots of work…make lots of mistakes,
People who do less work…make less mistakes,
People who do no work…make no mistakes,
People who make no mistakes…get promoted.

• What is the height of Flirting?
It's When your love letter starts with: TO WHOMSOEVER IT MAY CONCERN

• Kya hoga agar Pepsodent waale condom banaye to...??
Hona kya hai? Raat bhar Dishum, dishum...!

• Gal: Is dress ka kya price hai?
Shopkeeper: Sirf 5 kiss.
Girl: Aur us dress ka?
Shopkeeper: 10 kiss.
Girl: Dono dress pack kar do, bill daadi dengi.

• Ganguly’s Son: Yeh Kya, Daddy Sixer pe Sixer maare jaa rahe hain Hain?
Ganguly’s Wife: Arey beta, yeh toh ADVERTISEMENT Hai !

• U luv sumone... u marry sumone else. The one u marry becomes ur wife or husband & the one u loved becomes the password of your emai id...!

• Kudi waale pandit nu: Saanu aheja munda chahida jehra kuj khanda penda na howe.
Pandit: Aheja munda taan PGI Emergency ward ch hi mil sakda hai.

• Ravan ki 20 aankhein thi magar nazar sirf ek aurat pe; jab ki aapki 2 aankhein aur nazar har aurat pe...!
Toh asli Ravan kaun??

• Ab tak meri life ek khuli botal thi, jis mein se sab perfume ki tarah ud jata tha. Par aap ke aane se sab kuch ruk gaya. Bhagwan kare aap jaisa DHAKKAN sabko miley

• Baniye ki wife bimaar thi, light na hone ki wajah se usne candle jala di aur bola: Doc ko lene jaa raha hun, agar tumhe lage ki tum nahin bachogi to plz candle bujha dena

• A boy goes to see a cabare dance. His mom gets angry & asks him: Did u see anything there that u were not supposed to see?
Boy: Yes, I saw dad.

• In French: Bon jour
In Spanish: Te Quiro
In Italian: Teamo
In Yugoslav: Volim Te
In English: Good Morning
In Punjabi: Uth Moya Kam te nahi jana?
 

• An old man to Doctor: Doc, I think I'm getting senile. Several times lately, I have forgotten to zip up.
Doc: That's not senility. Senility is when you forget to zip down.